I’m a man of simple tastes and modest means. I don’t collect guns, don’t use illegal drugs, and can’t afford a decent stereo system to play music loud. I prefer country music to classical, beer to mixed drinks, and minivans to luxury cars. On those rare occasions when I do drink too much, I get quiet, not loud.
For reasons I can’t for the life of me figure out, a growing number of people don’t like the things I like. Worse than that, they won’t tolerate me going about my simple and modest business in my simple and modest way. They just won’t stand for it. And to make their point, they’ve started messing with some of my favorite things.
I Like Beer
My beer, for starters. Diane and I usually have a can of Miller Genuine Draft every evening after work. On weekends, Diane’s mom comes over and we have more than one but not often more than three. Why beer? It’s like the old Tom T. Hall song says:
Whisky’s too rough.
Champagne costs too much.
Vodka puts my mouth in gear.
This little refrain
should help to explain
why as a matter of fact
I like beer.
But politicians don’t like beer. The taxes on an average can of beer come to $0.33, nearly half of its selling price. A staggering $21 billion of what consumers thought they were spending on malt and hops in 1993 actually went to the government as taxes. You might as well call the man behind the counter a tax collector rather than a bartender!
A Little Tobacco
I smoke one cigar every evening, sitting out on the patio with Diane (and our cans of MGD). I used to smoke a pipe (too messy) and, before that, cigarettes (too expensive). My cheap Swisher Sweets cost only $0.30 each and last about 20 minutes. That’s just enough time to relax and unwind after a busy day at the office.
Government really likes to mess with tobacco. Back in 1993, direct taxes on a pack of smokes amounted to $0.53, about one-third of the retail price. They are higher now. Several good studies say smokers pay more in taxes than what they cost society in terms of higher medical expenses. Why aren’t cigarette taxes earmarked for smoker’s medical needs?
The deal between the tobacco industry and state governments struck last November will boost cigarette prices by another $0.35 a pack. Lawyers will pocket $8 billion (yeah, billion) in fees for their “work” on the case. The Clinton Administration wants to give the Justice Department $20 million more just to sue the tobacco industry for even more money. Somehow, all this is supposed to help the “victims” of tobacco.
My Little Peacekeeper
Another one of my favorite things is handguns. I own just one, but it gives me substantial peace of mind at night knowing I could, if necessary, repel an intruder. Diane is better with the gun than I am, so when I’m on the road I sleep well knowing Smith & Wesson is standing guard back at home.
Gun control advocates are trying to ban private possession of handguns. Actually, that’s not correct. They’re trying to ban possession of handguns by law-abiding citizens, like me–not the criminals who will get them regardless of what the laws say. In international relations, this is called unilateral disarmament. And it doesn’t work.
I’m sympathetic to what the do-gooders say they are trying to achieve. Not everyone will use a gun responsibly. Accidents and tragedies will happen. I just think the gun laws being proposed would disarm the wrong people and make all of us less safe. I think the Constitution protects our right to bear arms for some very good reasons. And I don’t want the government snooping around my home looking for an unregistered or unlocked handgun.
My Favorite Software
Like millions of other people, I spend the better part of my day in front of a personal computer that uses Microsoft’s “Windows” software. All the computers in the office are connected with Windows NT, a network we’ve found easy to navigate and very stable.
Like all my other favorite things, the government is now messing with Windows. Microsoft is being sued for violating anti-trust laws, and it could be broken up or forced to surrender to competitors the “source code” of its operating system.
The Department of Justice plans to boost its anti-trust spending from $98 million this year to $114 million in 2000, a 16 percent increase. Since 1994, DOJ spending on its anti-trust division has grown over 58 percent, compared to 49 percent for criminal matters and 36 percent for civil rights matters. What’s wrong with this picture?
Anti-trust doctrine was bogus when it first became federal law in 1890, and it is totally ridiculous in the 1990s. Anti-trust laws were written to protect politically influential companies from competition, not the other way around. The application of those laws has always been intensely political, and its results have always been anti-consumer. To see this hidebound and disreputable doctrine dusted off and used against the greatest business success story of the century is downright disheartening.
Me and My Minivan
My favorite bumper sticker reads: “If you don’t like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk.” Maybe because I’m short, I like riding high in a minivan. Someday, when there is no more drywall, two-by-fours, shrubs, nephews, and landscaping pavers to haul around, I may trade in my minivan for a sedan. But not before then.
My minivan, though, is on the list of politically incorrect vehicles. I don’t get very good gas mileage, my exhaust contains more air pollutants than does the exhaust of most sedans, and it seems when a minivan (or other sport utility vehicle) collides with a sedan, the former gets the better of the deal.
To those who raise these concerns, I politely ask, “So what?”
Gas is as cheap as it has been at any time in nearly three decades (adjusted for inflation), and I pay for it, so butt out. My late-model minivan has far lower emissions than did the average sedan of 20 years ago, and it emits less on a trip from Chicago to Milwaukee than does your gas-powered lawnmower in just one hour. Air quality in Chicago and virtually every other city in the country is rapidly improving.
And if you don’t want to risk having an accident with me, well . . . stay off the sidewalk.
What We Have Lost
Beer, tobacco, guns, Windows, and minivans have more in common than just being my favorite things. The first three are products with very long histories (archeologists have found pipes with charred tobacco-like remains in them that are hundreds of thousands of years old) that are risky if misused. We used to tolerate that risk in exchange for the benefits derived from their proper use. To encourage proper use, we held individuals responsible for their actions.
As a society, we now seem to take those benefits for granted, and we run to government for help when the benefits no longer rise to meet our needs. We have lost the will to hold people accountable for their mistakes. It’s always “society’s fault” or, even less plausibly, we blame the inanimate objects instead of their users.
Windows software and minivans epitomize American capitalism at its best: rapid product innovation to meet consumer demand, efficient production, safety and reliability, and skillful marketing. Their success in the marketplace, though, has prompted competitors and critics to turn to government for help: software rivals prompted the anti-trust lawsuit against Microsoft, and environmentalists lead the campaign for anti-minivan and anti-SUV regulations.
We seem to have lost the ability to allow anyone to lose in a fair competition, and yet we expect to reap the benefits of competition. Rather than viewing government as a last resort for solving problems, it is now the first lever reached for by special interest groups who don’t like a particular new trend or product.
I may be at risk of losing some of my favorite things. But that inconvenience pales into insignificance compared to what we, as a society, are losing in the process.
